


Not in my house

by DeathOfTheSwan



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Boys In Love, Caught, Cockblocking, Crack, Dorian is a cutie, Established Relationship, John being John, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Smut, also what a shitty title, and Rudy is THE jorian shipper, going from crack to smut real fast, jorian - Freeform, rudy is terrible at timings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 13:04:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2733614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathOfTheSwan/pseuds/DeathOfTheSwan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the technician leaves the two men alone in his laboratory?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not in my house

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Almost Human nor any of the characters. They belong to Fox

"You take care of supervising he's getting charged, John. Actually... Dorian, _you_ take care of John. I'm going to get some fibers. Please, no disasters while I'm gone." Rudy says, and he leaves the place.

The three of them, Rudy, Dorian, and John had been inside Rudy's lab. Dorian had gone to the lab to get his battery recharged (with John, who insisted on accompanying him). The technician had estimated that it would take approximately fifteen minutes to finish reloading, so that when he came back he would have already finished, or at least be close to finishing. It wasn't an urgent necessity to recharge Dorian, because his battery was still at 43%, but they wanted to make sure the android wouldn't go on low charge and have his usual annoying mood swings.

Meanwhile, Dorian starts charging. He's standing on his charger pod while John looks at him with a bored expression. Dorian looks amused at John's boredom.

"You're restless." says the DRN.

"Hm? Why-what do you mean?" John's voice is sleepy. He's sitting on a chair and his head is on his hands.

"The fact that we've been here for only five minutes and you're already tired speaks ill of you." Dorian answers with a smug grin, but then softens. "You haven't been sleeping well these past few days. The nightmares, right?"

Bless Dorian. He can read people superbly. "Yeah. Well, I mean, you haven't been sleeping with me, so... Jeez, that sounds crazy." He retracts from what he just said and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Dorian chuckles softly at the unintended sexual innuendo.

"So... What do you wanna talk about?" asks Dorian.

"I dunno. What do _you_ wanna talk about?" answers John.

Dorian thinks for a few moments and smiles while he closes his eyes. "Remember that time I found you singing Jason Derulo's 'Talk Dirty' while you were in the shower?

John groans and Dorian laughs. "You asshole. I had already told you not to enter the bathroom without asking. Plus, what the hell did you need from there?"

"Doesn't matter. You're a good singer, though."

John mutters something unintelligible that sounds like 'thanks'.

"Please don't tell me you told somebody about it."

The look on Dorian's face tells him the answer.

"You bastard! Who?"

Dorian pauses for a few seconds to hold his laughter and to keep him in suspense. "...Maldonado."

"You son of a bitch! Of course you told her!"

"But really, John. 'Talk Dirty'? Really? That song was famous--on 2014, maybe. How old were you? Seven?

"You don't change the subject. Was Sandra the _only_ person you told?"

"Yes, I'm telling you the truth. I only told _her_."

"Great." The relief on his face is ephemeral.

"Doesn't mean she didn't tell other people about it."

" _What_?!" The detective looks furious. " _What. Do you mean. With that_?"

"Well... She may have let out the information and spread it throughout the office."

There is a dramatical pause.

" _Dorian_. I'm gonna _fucking kill you_." He sounds murderous indeed.

He gets up really, really slowly and approaches Dorian, who is still charging.

"Wait! You don't remember, right? a) I'm still charging and you won't want to mess with me and b) I'm capable of flipping a van."

John stops abruptly and glares at him. Dorian gives him a cocky smile.

"You win this time." He stays standing and he puts his hands on his hips, looking at the android.

"What now?" asks said android.

"Now I'm gonna have my revenge."

The DRN doesn't like the sound of that.

"Remember that time we were having sex--"

"No, stop--"

"--and you said ' _we're like porn stars for God_ '?"

"Naw, man! Don't tell me you told someone about it!"

"Actually, no. But I'm going to when we get out of here." Now John is the one laughing. "I can't believe it. ' _We're like porn stars for God_ '. Where did that come from?" He's doubling over with laughter.

"You won't tell anyone."

"Of fucking course I will. What did you expect? You were the one to start this conversation."

Dorian cannot resist smiling and starts laughing too. "Hell... I don't remember saying that very well, to be honest."

"Well, that's because I was fucking you so hard you weren't even able to form one coherent thought."

"John!" The blue lights run up and down Dorian's face. There is also a slight blush on his cheeks.

Right at this moment, the pod gives a quiet beep, indicating the charge is complete.

"Whoa, I thought it would take more time." says Dorian.

"How long has it been? Ten minutes?"

"Actually, according to my time estimation it has been seven point fifty-eight minutes."

"You nerd. You count the minutes and seconds?"

"'Nerd'?"

"Take it as a compliment." John says, as he grins.

Dorian steps out of the charging pod and stands in front of John.

"So... What do we do now?" There is a subtle intention within Dorian's voice.

"Well... Rudy said it would take you fifteen minutes to finish reloading. That leaves us with...?"

"Eight point four minutes to spare while he comes back."

"Great." John steps closer to the DRN. "What would you like to do during that time?" He caresses Dorian's cheek, looking at the blue lights going in different directions.  
"A-Are you sure? This is Rudy's la- _ahhhb_..." His voice trails off when John touches the sensitive data port behind his neck.

"That's right..." He gets real close and kisses the DRN on the lips. He keeps touching the data port and he feels Dorian's muffled gasps inside the kiss.

They kiss with hunger and need to touch each other. John pulls them both to the metal repair table, the one on which Dorian was lying when John first saw him. He keeps Dorian at the edge and grinds their crotches together, both men groaning and whimpering. He suddenly grabs the DRN and pulls him on the table, so that he's sitting with John between his legs. They both keep kissing frantically and John slips a hand under Dorian's t-shirt, feeling the smooth brown skin, of which he can never get enough. Meanwhile, he sucks his jawline and neck, leaving blueish-purple hickeys. With the other hand, he unzips the DRN's trousers and rubs the rapidly-hardening bulge covered by the boxers, earning moans from the android. Dorian whimpers and cries out John's name whilst he grabs the human by the lower back (and even lower) to keep grinding their groins together.

John aims to bend Dorian and get on him when suddenly--

"Ahem."

They both stop abruptly and look terrified. They both look at an equally terrified Rudy.

"Well, it seems that you finished reloading, Dorian." The technician finds that it's difficult to articulate the words.

"Uh... Oh, yeah, right." The android says while zipping his jeans, and both he and the human disengage and stand on the floor. John looks a little embarassed and just a bit flushed while Dorian has the disco face going at full velocity, even with a darker blush and looking at the ground.

"We didn't do any disasters, just as you said." says John in a smug way, very smugly, with a smug face.

"I can see that." There is an embarassing pause. "Please, measure your timings better, gentlemen. Next time someone different could see you like this and have a heart attack." and with that Rudy drops the fibers on a shelf and leaves, presumably to the bathroom, to wash his bleeding nose.

Both John and Dorian look at each other and can barely hold their laughter. They rearrange themselves and get out of the building.

When they're out, they laugh out loud.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Dorian says between laughs.

"The nosebleed killed me... I can't believe it, man."

Eventually, the laughter fades.

"Wait..." says Dorian with a questioning look. "What did he mean, 'Next time'?

"Buddy, do you really think there's not gonna be a next time of this?"

"Wha-you're a pervert, John Kennex. I cannot believe you're into public sex."

"Don't say that. So are you."

Dorian says something between the lines of 'that's true'.

John starts snickering again. Dorian gives him the questioning look again.

"' _We're like porn stars for God_ '."

"Man, you're still with that?" Dorian hits John's shoulder playfully.

"Well, I guess that with this experience we're even, right?"

"Yeah."

They both go home, hopefully, to finish what they started in the lab.

**Author's Note:**

> hahahaha I had this in my head all day so I had to write it  
> also, tha nosebleed tho


End file.
